🍸 OFF-MENU 006 🍸: Khaite Expectations
What I'm loving this week: jammy lip stain, Phoebe Snow, and seashell perfume
Hello, sailor.1 What are your October intentions? In light of all things chaos, I’m attempting, though with some obvious allergy, to try and take care of myself and not get too defeatist this month. A very daunting task for someone who keeps The Fran Lebowitz Reader in her purse. Anyways, I want to know yours, so comment down below.
In HALOSCOPE news, because there’s always news…
We published this essay by M.P.S. Simpson on why viral Fragrantica screenshots are so sugary and gourmand
This essay by Julia Gordon on why shopping makes us feel really dreadful about ourselves
And we’re planning something big for later this month (hint: 🦇🗓️)
Now, for some of my favorite things…
#1: Khaite, they could never make me hate you
I like Khaite. THERE! As I said earlier this season, during New York Fashion Week:
“I’ve yet to see a brand outside of streetwear inspire such fury in people — especially among fashion writers, who are usually horny for diplomacy (can’t risk losing a Substack sponsorship). But the Khaite hate, at least among industry insiders, is strong. Perhaps this is because, unlike many of the calendar’s other names, Khaite is not risky or innovative enough; perhaps we think the brand attracts the “wrong” type of fashion-lover, which is another essay; perhaps this is because we flay ourselves against commercially successful sportswear.”
I think Catherine Holstein is smart by speaking to a new kind of working woman in the vein of ‘90s Donna Karan or Jil Sander. And while this ivory silk-georgette dress is $2,400, I just love to window shop. Might I suggest this Banana Republic dress for a Fall/Winter-approved, less formal, less expensive champagne silk?
#2: Who are luxury brand VICs, really?
This article (unpaywalled) in The Cut came out a few weeks ago, and it feels even more pertinent as the SS25 shows come to a close. A VIC — or a very important client — is usually a non-celebrity (though they think themselves otherwise) and nouveau riche (though they are quick to evade this). They shell out for Vogue 100; they spend all disposable income on luxury goods; they typically have extreme brand loyalty (VIC Laura Sachs, mentioned in-article, wore different pink Chanel jackets after giving birth to each of her daughters). The consumers driving over 40% of all sales for luxury brands are not you, nor me, nor even celebrities, but these self-appointed “collectors” and “tastemakers” and “philanthropists” living in New Jersey and Florida. It’s fascinating.
#3: This genuinely perfect Bode sweater
Perhaps I can become the very first VIC for Bode. I will get this Massachusetts sweater one day, so help me God. I swear on Rory Gilmore’s life.
#4: Great Expectations (1998, dir. Alfonso Cuarón)
Maybe that Atlantic piece about young people not being able to read books anymore sparked this. As everyone knows, I am a Gwyneth defender, and I think she’s a perfect Estella — and I think, too, that it’s very funny that Cuarón decided to change important story touchstones (including names!) to satisfy audiences, as if it’s not one of the most heavily-read novels of all time. Of course, my charm about this will completely change with Emerald Fennell’s forthcoming Wuthering Heights. Changing names — fine, sure, whatever, I don’t want to hear the name “Abel Magwitch” for an hour and a half either. Making Margot Robbie play an 18-year-old Cathy Earnshaw — blissfully stupid.
OH, and you should listen to the song Tori Amos recorded for the soundtrack, in which she critiques Coquetteism 20 years before it entered the modern lexicon. She should be President, I think.
#5: A messy, jammy lip stain
Preferably with little-to-no other makeup involved. Like everybody else, I’ve been wearing tinted balms and the occasional gloss since the pandemic, and I chafe at the thought of wearing a thick liquid lipstick ever again. But for fall, there’s something very enchanting about looking like you’re drunk off of mulled wine or maybe that you’ve just made out with a branch of a plum tree. The more sensual and bedraggled, the better. My picks: the Rare Beauty Lip Oil Stain in Affection, blended out with a sponge; the Kulfi Lassi Lip Oil Stain in Tamarind; and, if you want a matte finish, the Violette_FR Matte Rose Petal Lip Stain in Cerise Désir.
#6: Roots Rose Radish Jasmine & Clary Sage Seashell Perfume
No Fragrantica entry for this brand, so you’ll have to go in blind — but I can tell you that it’s incredibly worth it. Roots Rose Radish makes these gorgeous, organic, solid perfumes pressed into sienna-speckled seashell compacts. I’ve had the Jasmine & Clary Sage scent on my wishlist for a long time, and now, she finally belongs to me. Dionysian, youthful, sparkling, like drinking champagne under the full moon. I love that I can travel with it and not worry about an accidental spill / TSA telling me to throw it out. I’m aware this sounds sponsored, but again, nothing in Mermaid Café is. I tend to get excited about fashion and fragrance and start speaking like I’m hosting a community telethon.
#7: “Poetry Man,” Phoebe Snow (1974)
Phoebe Snow, in terms of batting average, might be THE most underrated vocalist in the American songbook. Bluesy, sweeping over four octaves, capable of being lilting and coy but also deep and domineering. I love this one — so mysterious, sensual, cool. Send it to your lover.
See you on Tuesday. ꩜
This is your nickname now because no one spoke against it. Thinking now that Mermaid Café sort of operates under pirate rules.